by Chris Benton
Tanner and Jocko -
Lives are made of years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, relentlessly ticking away. Moment by moment, strung together equals the sum of what and who we are- moment by moment.
I am sitting here on this cold tile floor trying with all my might to stop that enemy called time. You are lying next to me, panting nervously- you never did like this place. This is the moment that I have been dreading from the first time I saw you. Oh it was a fleeting thought while you where young and full of energy just a slight shadow that intruded every now and then, someday, someday…
Then one day that shadow became a fear as I noticed the grey on your muzzle and realized that time had been marching on and our moments together were precious not to be wasted. Today that fear became a reality.
I am crying as the vet comes in to give you a sedative. Jim, has been talking about what a great life you have had, all the hikes, runs, camping trips-he stops abruptly and stares at the ceiling. The vet gives you a shot and tells us that this will help calm you down and make you sleepy.
We know,we have been through this twice already in the last year. Jim feeds you dog biscuits which you gobble up. You lick away my tears and lay your head down with a sigh. I am sobbing now, burying my face in your furry neck I feel each breath you take. The vet comes back in the room; I hear the clipper buzz as she shaves off a spot on your hind leg.
I take a quick glance and see that she is about to administer the shot. I hold on to you, to this moment your last and my first with out you. I feel your last breath and still I hold on. But time stops for no one and the next moment pushes its way into life and you are gone.
Tanner Total German Shepherd
Chris, first of all let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It is so very hard to lose a wonderful German Shepherd but your memories will help you through it all and as you have shown us all here, your memories will stick with you forever and help through your grieving process. Thank you so much for sharing your story about your German Shepherd Dog. I am so very sorry for your loss.